March 0

I am going to call today March 0 instead of February 28. February beat me. I am a defeated man and, in hopes of a starting my recovery more quickly, in the kingdom of DMo, February is no more. March starts today.

February brought the following:
-- Car break-in and lots of insurance company-related headaches

-- Purchase of new car (not planned), including being forced to wait nearly two weeks for car to come in

-- Visit from family, which, although it was long-anticipated, was reasonably poorly timed (it did happen in February after all)

-- and finally, moving into a new home this past weekend

Let March begin!

Now, all of these things are quite nice (except for the first, of course), but normal people tend to space them all out a bit more. I didn't have that option.

And of course, it was great to see the fam and introduce them to the oddities of Salt Lake. However, they wake up too damned early.

Hopefully, this post also explains my absence from the land 'O blog.

I've been called a lot of things

"So, you've got an iPod, a Dell Handheld, a blog and a Scion? You're a yuppie."
-Matt M., friend and former roommate.

I've been called a lot of things, but a yuppie? My retort: I still own an axe. Yuppies don't own axes, nor do they keep the axe (that they don't own) in their bedrooms as a conversation piece. Also, I am missing the cute wife (which may or may not have something to do with said axe) and a black or chocolate lab.

But yes, it looks like I will be the owner of a new lil Scion xA. It's described as "tough, sleek and ready to roll," just like me.

God damn an American economy and insurance industry where despite paying the equivalent of millions of dollars (factoring in Dave-flation and Dave-brokeness) per year on car insurance on a shitty car to begin with, it is more sensible for me to get another car instead of paying for the damages from an unprofessional break-in.

It's been a distressful month. It takes a lot to get me truly distressed, but one thing always does the trick: Expenses. This month, that's three-fold -- new car, new apartment/room and potentially, some officespace for words, inc.

Nonetheless, despite the proverbial wrench this vehicle situation has thrown into my plans, I am of course excited to get the damned thing. I don't have the Scion yet. It's on its way to its new home from Los Angeles and hence I am looking at about a week of driving my current car sans window and using two hands to shift; one to move the dash board pieces away from the knob, the other to actually shift gears.

It's taking a week because there isn't a single one in Utah stripped-down without any options -- that's how I roll.

Sample from dealer conversation:
Dealer: What about floor mats? You must want floor mats.
DMo: How much?
Dealer: $120.
DMo: Seriously? Take 'em out.
Dealer: Well, it's on it's way with floor mats. We'll have to take them out when it gets here.

Again, that's how I roll.

Thanks to everyone who has provided me with some empathy in this situation (it's amazing how many people have had vehicles vandalized) or provided an ear for me to whine into during the decision process. I was even offered a free 1970s Forest Service full-size pick-up truck from my favorite coffee barista. I don't think that sucker would get the gas mileage that the xA will be rocking, but it's a wonderful offer just the same. If only an insurance company actually looked out for its clients...

a bit too much excitement...

... over this past weekend.

In the "good" category, I'd like to say thanks to Holly Mullen of the Tribune for providing my show and KRCL with some good press. Read it here: http://www.sltrib.com/mullen/ci_2557212.

In the "bad" category, I'd like to say thanks to the thieving bitches who broke into my car and stole my stereo. A word of advice -- you may want to consider going back to thieving bitch school for a couple of reasons:
1.) You did a really terrible job of stealing; smashing the window was so not necessary and honestly, have you ever actually removed a car stereo before? My dashboard should not look the way it does after a simple stereo theft. Get your shit together.
and 2.) Who breaks into a lil Suzuki Esteem commuter car when in the same small lot are parked a brand-new Pontiac Vibe, 2004 Subaru WRX and a 2002 Mustang convertible (not to mention the 1970 Mustang parked in front of the building)?

Seriously, you are so terrible at this petty theft thing, I urge you to reconsider your career choice; go back and visit your guidance councilor. Something tells me you would be more adept at euthanizing stray cats or donating plasma full-time.

Arguably the worst part about this, besides the expense of course, is that today is the first pow day in almost a month. I can't go because I am waiting for Debra the Claims Adjustor to call back. Fourteen inches at Solitude at 6:30am, 6 to 10 more by end of day. Argh.

My electronic fairy godmother

I'm fresh from the library where I just met my electronic fairy godmother. Or perhaps godperson.

So, there I was, rocking out to a little J. Rouse on the iPod, reading and typing away on my new geek toy, when this dude approaches the two-sided-communal-desk-apparatus with a giant keyboard. Immediately, of course, I am both distracted and amused. Seriously, who brings a keyboard (and we're not talking Casio here) to the library?

When he finally had his whole "studio" set up -- Rio mp3 player, notebook computer, various flash/jump memory devices, mouse, HP pocket PC (PDA), Nokia gaming cell phone, professional headphones and said keyboard -- I couldn't refrain from making a joke. We shared a laugh.

Next he commented on my geek toy, which of course, compared to his geek empire, seemed trivial.
"How do you like your Dell Axim?"
"I like it a lot; just got it pretty recently," I replied.
He went on to discuss how it was much better than a Palm-based operating system, etc., and went further into the conversation than I was both willing and prepared to go. It reminded me very much of speaking with Ozzy, my tech-savvy nerd friend who pushed me to purchase the device in the first place.

At this point, he asks me if I want a Sim card. Now, in my experience, people don't just give away memory cards. Perhaps it's the East Coast in me, but I was waiting for the catch -- the return favor, be it fiscal, sexual, other.

To my wonderful surprise, he didn't want one. "I have like eight or nine of them and I don't really use them anymore. Here, you can have this one."

S-W-E-E-T! Sometimes, people are just cool.

Note to Ozzy: If you are missing a long-lost tech-geek cousin who happens to be African American, musically-inclined and about twenty years in age -- I've found him. He lives in Salt Lake City and is currently at the City Library.