Proof that the economy still blows

Today, I received my first resume for words, inc. That is, Ned, of Brooklyn, wants me to employ him.

If you happen to see Ned, please don't tell him that I am struggling with and dangerously close to failing at simple things like basic math, time management and cooking. Or, in a word, life. Because I lack these life skills and many others, I don't have the girth to work for myself full-time, let alone hire someone else. Don't mention that either.

Instead, mention the killer dental plan that w-i offers.

Back to work Alan Greenspan! If people are asking me for jobs...