I'm a fighter, not a lover.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Get them some salt shakers! STAT!

In the brief time that I have held my new position, I’ve been privy to some entertaining things. One thing that I am infatuated with, for instance, is the number of women here who’ve caught the preggers. Our company is about 300 people deep (from what I understand) and I am convinced that if you were to take a random cross-section of the Salt Lake population and chose 300 people, you would not end up with as many pregnant women as I see within this facility. It just doesn’t add up. Plus, since I have the distinct pleasure of sitting immediately adjacent the Women’s room, another co-worker may be added to that list. Nope, turning the faucet on high did not cover up the grotesque sounds emitted from your body. Morning sickness? It was yesterday afternoon.

Now referring to actual funny things, imagine one of those pregnant women who is chronically distressed and has the mouth of a sailor to prove it. Now imagine that same woman having constant interaction with an office full of Mormons, as well as a healthy portion of direct client contact. Love it.

My favorite comical thing about the new gig thus far, however, is most definitely the strange, company-wide emails that are occasionally dispersed via the reception desk. Until today, my favorite was:

Subject: Chocolate Milk Sale....
Chocolate milk is now on sale for $0.30. (while supplies last)

Which was written in brown (chocolate) font and immediately followed up by:

Subject: RE: Chocolate Milk Sale....
Never mind… they have gone bad, and we’d prefer you all didn’t get sick...

Good stuff, but I think I enjoy today’s better:

Subject: If you borrowed the salt shakers....
from the main break room, please return them.

Should I be worried that they can only afford one set of salt shakers? I mean, this was a company-wide email!


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